I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
