I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
