possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
