Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
