it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I AM VODKA MAN
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
