the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
