just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
