Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
