i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
