So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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