I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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