My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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