dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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