I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
