I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
