Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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