If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
