i love accidental penises.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
