Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize