I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
