There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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