I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
