He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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