New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
