oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
