I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
