Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
