you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
