Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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