Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
