How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
