my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
