party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
