You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
