Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
