A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
