Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
