Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize