FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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