I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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