Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
