Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize