I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
