Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
