we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
