what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Randomize
