Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize