Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
