well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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