I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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