just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
