she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
