She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
