That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
