did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
