Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
