I want to stick my p in your. b.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
