Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
