I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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