If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize