I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
