Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
