It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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