we have officially lost it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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