i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
