I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
