Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Damn victory sex feels great
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
