how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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