I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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