Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
